4XLT

Disclaimer: I apologize if you are offended by the language. I know some people aren’t too enthralled by my word choice, but to be honest, this is the gut level place I am right now. Thanks.

I went to the dentist today. For the first time in over two and a half years. Predictably, it wasn’t fun. Of course, I could blame the fact that I don’t have insurance or whatever on my dental woes (no cavities, fortunately, but my gums aren’t too happy with me right now), but that’s just not the case. I’ve never taken care of my teeth properly, and the two and a half years plus just exacerbated that fact and put it on public display to my dental hygienist.

But more importantly is what came to mind during my drive to the dentist and the time spent in the torture chamber, er, clinical room. I’ve never taken care of myself physically, in any substantial way, shape, or form. I’ve spent nearly twenty five years going through life in a laissez faire fashion, letting my weight, my teeth, and my face (I could pass for a teenager some days) pretty much all go to pot.

Damn. It’s enough to get me bummed out.

But instead, I’m going to turn that feeling into fuel and keep the fire burning as I continue transforming myself into who I want to be. If I wanted to, I could speculate and wonder why it is I’ve lived the way I have. But, I don’t think there’s much down that road except for regret. For now, I’ll keep looking forward.