Comments on: Matchmaker Make Me A Match http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/ Will Phillips' Weight Loss Blog Tue, 12 Jan 2010 23:24:23 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Heidi http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-470 Heidi Wed, 27 Aug 2008 19:02:35 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-470 OK, I'll blame the differing time zones for my late post. So, if a cute red-head weighing in the 150s with acne and enough teeth problems to send her dentists children to college said she would love to see you again, would you seriously turn her down?:) In all seriousness, I admire you for posting all of this. It takes guts (no pun intended) and a certain level of confidence to do so. You're absolutely right in wanting to focus on yourself for awhile. We all come to that point, and its amazing what we learn about ourselves (especially when we realize how stupid we've been). By the way, in high school, it was never your size that stood out to me. It was, as cliched as it sounds, your amazing personality. OK, I’ll blame the differing time zones for my late post. So, if a cute red-head weighing in the 150s with acne and enough teeth problems to send her dentists children to college said she would love to see you again, would you seriously turn her down?:) In all seriousness, I admire you for posting all of this. It takes guts (no pun intended) and a certain level of confidence to do so. You’re absolutely right in wanting to focus on yourself for awhile. We all come to that point, and its amazing what we learn about ourselves (especially when we realize how stupid we’ve been). By the way, in high school, it was never your size that stood out to me. It was, as cliched as it sounds, your amazing personality.

]]> By: Will http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-463 Will Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:16:49 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-463 @Susie: No doubt about it, the girls got the short end of the stick in the relationship / attraction department. You're right on in that guys are visually driven, and if there isn't some physical attraction there to begin with, nothing more will happen. That sucks, but that's just how it goes. <br /> @Kristen: Yeah, confidence vs. the general "don't give a damn" mindset isn't just weight loss / body composition alone. There's a lot more that factor into it. Heck, I know that I get a boost from taking the time to press my clothes and shine my shoes. It's the little things. <br /> @Jason: Thanks for your two cents, bud. I think you hit the nail on the head with why super-hot 9's & 10's often times don't have anything significant to offer. <br/> I had the same line of thoughts hit me this past weekend when i was downtown with some friends. I kept seeing one super hot (and trashily slutty) girl after another. Really, hot girls are nothing special at all - there are thousands of them out there, but most of them aren't anyone special. Finding a cool, interesting girl is the trick. @Susie: No doubt about it, the girls got the short end of the stick in the relationship / attraction department. You’re right on in that guys are visually driven, and if there isn’t some physical attraction there to begin with, nothing more will happen. That sucks, but that’s just how it goes.

@Kristen: Yeah, confidence vs. the general “don’t give a damn” mindset isn’t just weight loss / body composition alone. There’s a lot more that factor into it. Heck, I know that I get a boost from taking the time to press my clothes and shine my shoes. It’s the little things.

@Jason: Thanks for your two cents, bud. I think you hit the nail on the head with why super-hot 9′s & 10′s often times don’t have anything significant to offer.

I had the same line of thoughts hit me this past weekend when i was downtown with some friends. I kept seeing one super hot (and trashily slutty) girl after another. Really, hot girls are nothing special at all – there are thousands of them out there, but most of them aren’t anyone special. Finding a cool, interesting girl is the trick.

]]> By: Jason http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-462 Jason Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:18:02 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-462 Well, it seems as though I'm kind of behind in commenting on this blog and a lot has already been said, however, I'm still going to put in my $.02! When I first started my weight loss, it wasn't to get girls, it wasn't to be able to run a 5K, it wasn't to do anything besides make me feel good about myself. I had lots of people say you should date so and so, blah blah blah (and you'll notice the more weight you lose, the more you'll probably hear that kind of stuff, which pissed me off) and I always said no, I'm working on me right now...The truth of it is, nothing is going to work out unless you work on you first. Now I'm not saying I "fixed" me, but I'm a lot more menatally (and physically) healthy now. I feel that I can love myself, which in turn makes it possible to love someone else. As far as physical features go...I use to think I can only date the hottest women, that everyone is like damn, she is fing hot...however, probably with that is, 1. kinda worried about cheating, 2. they usually aren't the smartest (not sayin you can't be hot and smart at the same time, just in my experiance)3. It's stupid to look past someone because they don't possess your dream features, you're just going to miss out on something great. As for me, I'm in a relationship right now with an awesome girl. She isn't happy with where she is and she is working on weight loss as well. It's really awesome having someone in your corner helping you, and the thing of it is...when you love someone you don't really get to hung up on how they look, you know? **This is all said knowing that you do need somewhat of a physical attraction** Well, it seems as though I’m kind of behind in commenting on this blog and a lot has already been said, however, I’m still going to put in my $.02!

When I first started my weight loss, it wasn’t to get girls, it wasn’t to be able to run a 5K, it wasn’t to do anything besides make me feel good about myself. I had lots of people say you should date so and so, blah blah blah (and you’ll notice the more weight you lose, the more you’ll probably hear that kind of stuff, which pissed me off) and I always said no, I’m working on me right now…The truth of it is, nothing is going to work out unless you work on you first. Now I’m not saying I “fixed” me, but I’m a lot more menatally (and physically) healthy now. I feel that I can love myself, which in turn makes it possible to love someone else.

As far as physical features go…I use to think I can only date the hottest women, that everyone is like damn, she is fing hot…however, probably with that is, 1. kinda worried about cheating, 2. they usually aren’t the smartest (not sayin you can’t be hot and smart at the same time, just in my experiance)3. It’s stupid to look past someone because they don’t possess your dream features, you’re just going to miss out on something great.

As for me, I’m in a relationship right now with an awesome girl. She isn’t happy with where she is and she is working on weight loss as well. It’s really awesome having someone in your corner helping you, and the thing of it is…when you love someone you don’t really get to hung up on how they look, you know?

**This is all said knowing that you do need somewhat of a physical attraction**

]]> By: Kristen http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-461 Kristen Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:52:39 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-461 I love you, Susie. Hilarious about your friends setting you up with hotties. Ok. Your perspective on it is funny to me at least. It won't be long before those hotties will be asking you out themselves. Anyways, I agree with all the above comments - especially Billy's and Susie's. My opinion is that looks only help with the initial attraction. Personality has so much more to do with what girls like about guys. Confidence confidence confidence. You just have to do the best with what you have. I think I remember Billy writing a long time ago that he didn't go to the dentist while he was out of control with his weight. I'm sure that this was just a general "I don't care" attitude. I guess what I'm trying to say is that weight is only a small part of what shows that we take care of ourselves. I love you, Susie. Hilarious about your friends setting you up with hotties. Ok. Your perspective on it is funny to me at least. It won’t be long before those hotties will be asking you out themselves.

Anyways, I agree with all the above comments – especially Billy’s and Susie’s. My opinion is that looks only help with the initial attraction. Personality has so much more to do with what girls like about guys. Confidence confidence confidence. You just have to do the best with what you have. I think I remember Billy writing a long time ago that he didn’t go to the dentist while he was out of control with his weight. I’m sure that this was just a general “I don’t care” attitude. I guess what I’m trying to say is that weight is only a small part of what shows that we take care of ourselves.

]]> By: Ripx180 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-460 Ripx180 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:05:57 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-460 I think allot of fat guys who have hot chicks also have allot of something else...... MONEY!!! Unless they hooked, line, and sunk them before they ballooned up (that's what I did) ;) I think allot of fat guys who have hot chicks also have allot of something else…… MONEY!!!

Unless they hooked, line, and sunk them before they ballooned up (that’s what I did) ;)

]]> By: billy http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-459 billy Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:20:02 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-459 glad to know I made the board! You'll have to post all those quotes in a blog some day! glad to know I made the board! You’ll have to post all those quotes in a blog some day!

]]> By: susie http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-458 susie Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:34:29 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-458 Oh the plight of the fat singleton.... DUDE. I can SO relate. Except my friends tend to do the opposite to me. They set me up with guys who are WAY out of my league (at least in terms of physical "hotness") and then when I do actually meet these guys or they see a picture of me they can't seem get away fast enough. It's so embarrassing. I've banned them from setting me up. I do have to agree with some of the above statements though. There are lots of fat guys with hot girls. It's all about confidence. You almost never see hot men with fat or unattractive women. Guys are just more visual. Girls want a guy who's confident, funny, manly, smart (some girls add driven/ambitious) and if they happen to come with a 6 pack... awesome. but I don't know any girls for which a 6-pack is a requirement. It helps to put you on the radar but that's about it. As for the list about the supposed bad teeth, big nose, and small eyes, etc. that's all crap and you know it. the one pic where you actually show your teeth they looked fine. Nothing abnormal about your eyes and no one in the history of the world has ever like their own nose. Anyway I also think it's a good idea to not date until being closer to your goals. It's probably easier to focus on yourself. It's what I'm doing but it looks like I don't really have much choice in the matter ;) Oh the plight of the fat singleton…. DUDE. I can SO relate.

Except my friends tend to do the opposite to me. They set me up with guys who are WAY out of my league (at least in terms of physical “hotness”) and then when I do actually meet these guys or they see a picture of me they can’t seem get away fast enough. It’s so embarrassing. I’ve banned them from setting me up.

I do have to agree with some of the above statements though. There are lots of fat guys with hot girls. It’s all about confidence. You almost never see hot men with fat or unattractive women. Guys are just more visual. Girls want a guy who’s confident, funny, manly, smart (some girls add driven/ambitious) and if they happen to come with a 6 pack… awesome. but I don’t know any girls for which a 6-pack is a requirement. It helps to put you on the radar but that’s about it.

As for the list about the supposed bad teeth, big nose, and small eyes, etc. that’s all crap and you know it. the one pic where you actually show your teeth they looked fine. Nothing abnormal about your eyes and no one in the history of the world has ever like their own nose.

Anyway I also think it’s a good idea to not date until being closer to your goals. It’s probably easier to focus on yourself. It’s what I’m doing but it looks like I don’t really have much choice in the matter ;)

]]> By: Will http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-457 Will Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:32:19 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-457 @Billy: I have two long sheets of paper covering my walls in my bedroom which I cover with quotes, weight loss goals, and the like. This quote of yours is going on my weall: <em>"Use this time to create the you that you want to be and when you’re ready, unleash that you unto the world. "</em> <br /> I am convinced, 100% that confidence is the key around women. But like you mentioned, my confidence is still stuck in never-never land with my overweight situation. Until I cross that hurdle, I might be stuck spinning my wheels. Use this time to create the you that you want to be and when you’re ready, unleash that you unto the world. <br/>I know that doesn't have to be the case, and if I wanted to work hard on "The Game" like I work hard on my weight loss, then I, too, could be one of "fat dudes with hot girls... [with] unbreakable confidence." But for now, my mental energy has to go into losing weight and getting strong. <br /> @Rip: I know most of these situations don't pan out, and I'm not in the least bit bent out of shape about that. <br/> I suppose my worry / beef is that I'm the type of guy that girls would only hook up with their homely, overweight friends. I want to be a guy that they can hook up with their hot friends! Hahah. But a big part of that is not being homely and overweight, myself. <br /> @Andrew: Thanks for the comment - and the tantalizing dream of finding a hot girl who likes my personality! What a lucky guy! @Billy: I have two long sheets of paper covering my walls in my bedroom which I cover with quotes, weight loss goals, and the like. This quote of yours is going on my weall: “Use this time to create the you that you want to be and when you’re ready, unleash that you unto the world. “

I am convinced, 100% that confidence is the key around women. But like you mentioned, my confidence is still stuck in never-never land with my overweight situation. Until I cross that hurdle, I might be stuck spinning my wheels.
Use this time to create the you that you want to be and when you’re ready, unleash that you unto the world.

I know that doesn’t have to be the case, and if I wanted to work hard on “The Game” like I work hard on my weight loss, then I, too, could be one of “fat dudes with hot girls… [with] unbreakable confidence.” But for now, my mental energy has to go into losing weight and getting strong.

@Rip: I know most of these situations don’t pan out, and I’m not in the least bit bent out of shape about that.

I suppose my worry / beef is that I’m the type of guy that girls would only hook up with their homely, overweight friends. I want to be a guy that they can hook up with their hot friends! Hahah. But a big part of that is not being homely and overweight, myself.

@Andrew: Thanks for the comment – and the tantalizing dream of finding a hot girl who likes my personality! What a lucky guy!

]]> By: Will http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-456 Will Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:01:04 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-456 @Kevin: I'm getting in my truck to drive to Michigan so I can headbutt you. Right now. And then have Beck buy me some Chinese food. And then steal your football. @Kevin: I’m getting in my truck to drive to Michigan so I can headbutt you. Right now. And then have Beck buy me some Chinese food. And then steal your football.

]]> By: Andrew is getting fit http://4xlt.willphillips.org/2008/08/matchmaker-make-me-a-match/comment-page-1/#comment-455 Andrew is getting fit Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:04:16 +0000 http://4xlt.willphillips.org/?p=92#comment-455 Hmmm...I was fortunate and met a hot girl who loved me for my personality. Weird I know. She loves to tell her friends that most husbands get older and fatter but hers is getting older and fitter! One thing you will find as you get fitter is that your confidence does start to shoot up somewhat. Which is a big help. ;) Hmmm…I was fortunate and met a hot girl who loved me for my personality. Weird I know.

She loves to tell her friends that most husbands get older and fatter but hers is getting older and fitter!

One thing you will find as you get fitter is that your confidence does start to shoot up somewhat. Which is a big help. ;)

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