4XLT

Today’s Weigh-In: 314.4 pounds

It’s been a bad several days. I got into my new jeans last week, and then I completely fell off the health wagon.

I was doing some bills and found out I had some extra cash in the bank from not spending much last month do to my travels and my folks being up. So, like an idiot, I went on a spending spree (buying new clothes I did need, but the watch and black chelsea boots, not as justifiable but could be, the Conan comic trade paperback, not at all). And in addition to blowing some cash on stuff, I did the same with grub, eating like a moron (starting with freaking Long John Silvers last Thursday). And the gym? I didn’t even bother.

I hit a high of 319 a few days ago and have been working feverishly to get back down. Yesterday was my first real push back – I ate right and even went to the gym for some hard HIIT. It worked, as I dropped about three pounds in one day. But still, I end up with no weight loss this week at all, which just pisses me off seeing as I was close to ten pounds away from the 300 mark.

Oh well, I’m hitting it hard again from here on out, and making a plan to control my impulse purchases (making a list and waiting a week to make sure any purchases I want aren’t just whims but something I really want) along with my food plan.

Damn.

Today’s Weigh-In: 311.8 pounds
Next Goal: 300 pounds
Pounds to Go: 11.8 pounds
Days to Go: 23 (end of January)

Today was a good day! And no, not just because it was payday (although that’s always awesome).

I’ve been increasingly noticing and being annoyed by my overly large size 46 jeans. The slide off even if I jog slightly, and they bunch up in the front when I cinch my belt down – all signs of being way too big. So, after meeting some people for happy hour after work, I went by the mall to see if I can find some pants.

After looking high and low for a pair that was my size, I was happy to finally stumble into two size 42s. I was so pumped when I tried them on and they fit perfectly well. Size 42 jeans are the same size I wore back in high school!

While I was at the mall, I dropped by Champs Sports and bought what may very well be the coolest hoodie I’ve ever seen – in XXL. It’s official, I’m back into the same clothing sizes I was in high school, and I couldn’t be happier. Well, that’s not true – I’ll be happier when I drop below the 300 pound mark. But for now, this will do quite well!

Today’s Weigh-In: 314.6 pounds
Yesterday’s Weigh-In: 316.8 pounds
Next Goal: 300 pounds
Pounds to Go: 14.6 pounds
Days to Go: 25 (end of January)

As you can see, there’s not much change in my weight from a few weeks ago. In fact, the whole month of December was a roller coaster ride between the precipice of 320 and back to a pound or two below 310. I was back in Oklahoma for a week, and then my parents were here in Oregon for Christmas another week. I failed to keep my guard up and packed on nearly ten pounds both times. I dropped the extra weight pretty quickly the first time, but my rampant laziness the past week and a half have me still working the weight off from the Christmas visit.

Cardio

Despite the lackluster New Year’s Eve I recently mentioned, I was happy to start off 2009 on the right foot. My friend Jesse and I headed out, in the rain, to a school’s covered basketball playground to kill ourselves with some Crossfit-light (bodyweight squats and burpees) and HIIT cardio work. I managed to maintain around the 318 range throughout the weekend (the playoffs almost did me in).

I’m happy to say that for the first time in several weeks, I’ve been to the gym two days in a row. Sunday night was okay – not bad, but certainly not with the intensity I need to blast through the next 75 pounds. However, yesterday I got amped up and headed to the gym and knocked out some killer HIIT work on the eliptical – complete with red head, sweat, and sharp pains in the side. I gotta admit that it felt good. Real good.

So, my cardio work has been up to snuff so far this year, but there’s also my nutrition and weight training to consider.

Weight Training

In truth, my weight training has been nonexistent since I got back to Oregon from my sister’s wedding several weeks ago. That one donned on me last night when I realized I hadn’t pounded the iron since I started wearing contacts. That’s literally a month, which sucks. I am going to the gym tonight to restart my weightlifting routine. I am going to continue with a total body routine using complex lifts. Instead of aiming for bulk and strength, my primary goal for the foreseeable future (until I hit 240) is to train for fat loss.

To that end, my weight training for fat loss program will involve circuit training through several multi-joint lifts. The foundation will be overhead squats and power cleans, as they work the whole body, get the heart beating, and fire up the metabolism.

I’m still in Chad Waterbury’s school of total body training, as compared to isolation training (different muscle groups on different days) as I think it gives me the best bang for your buck in regards to strength training and weight loss. After all, I am still over 300 pounds. Once I hit my target range, I may change over into isolation training, but that’s several months away.

Grub

Past that, my nutrition has been okay. I’ve had a couple of minor indiscretions, but have been able to adjust accordingly (with cardio and altering my food plan throughout the day afterwards) to keep the pounds going down. It’s just a matter of sticking to the plan, keeping track of calories, and laying off the carbs in the evening. Later in the month when I’ve got a bit more discretionary spending money, I’ll stock up on a ton of protein and go through my strict food plan again.

I’ll report on my new weight routine tomorrow, provided I don’t die. I’m a bit daunted by the overhead squats, but I’m going to keep my weights low to begin with and learn the proper form first. I’ve got a bit of a party plan in store for Valentine’s Day and want to be unquestionably below the 299 mark by then. Got to stick to the plan to do that.

What about you? How are your health and weight loss plans going now that we are almost a week into the new year?

In my last blog, I wrote about 2008 in review. Today, I’m taking some time to plan my goals for 2009. And, I’m actually getting it done on Saturday like I said I would – with 25 minutes to spare!

Making ambitious new year’s resolutions is all fine and dandy, but I’m trying to give myself some specific benchmarks to aim for. That way, I can’t just vaguely say I’ve done this or that, but I can confidently say I’ve achieved my goals based on what I have concretely done.

Goal 1: Reach 200+ Pounds Lost Total (and Other Health Mini-Goals)

I lost 120 pounds in 2008, and I’m pretty proud of that. I’m ready to hit the ground running in 2009 and make it another fantastic year of weight loss and getting strong, healthy, and thin. Last year, I went from the 440 pound, morbidly obese guy to the on-the-cusp-of 300 pound, chubby, big dude. This year, I want to go from big dude to thin dude.

For me, the scale is still my primary metric (I’ll transition over to body fat percentage when I get lean). My next to last goal is 240 pounds, because that would make an even 200 pounds of fat lost. When I hit the 240 mark in the later half of this year, I’ll begin to plan of building muscle, toning up, and getting my body fat percentages down. Right now, 15% body fat sounds pretty good, but we’ll see.

Getting there, I’ve got two major weight goals I’d like to hit: 275 pounds by my birthday in late March, and 250 pounds by June. Past those numbers, I’d love to wear an XL shirt, size 38 or less pant, and 46 suit jacket. Currently, I wear an XXL, 42s or 44s, and 52 suit. I’ve never worn pants under 42 (even in high school), so to have something in the 30s would rock my world, as would being able to buy a suit from a department store and not the big and tall folks (emphasis on big).

And of course, this means I’ve have to buy a new XL Seahawks jersey in August (and two mini-helmets: one in the current style and one throwback just for the heck of it)!

Goal 2: Reinvent Myself Socially and Make Friends

New Year’s Eve this year was a perfect example of my social life in Portland – or rather, the lack of one. My friend Jesse and I dropped by to say hey to our friends with the local Portland post-Chi Alpha Bible study group and play some games with them, and then we hit the town… and did nothing with no one. It was really frustrating and disheartening to be honest. But at the same time, it acted to instill another layer of resolve to not repeat it next year.

I’m just about sick and tired of living in a metro area of two million people and sitting around in my apartment for an entire weekend with no one to hang out with.

I was talking with one of my friends who moved to Portland a few years back (like myself), and we lamented the fact that we both have very few people we would actually consider friends around the city. In a seperate conversation, one of my coworkers who is another recent transplant to Portland told me that she was having a pretty hard go of making friends here, too.

I don’t know if it’s the culture of Portland, bad luck in meeting people, or just a matter of not getting out and involved in things enough, but I can admit that part of my problem has been simply that I’ve not given myself many opportunities to meet people. Over the course of the past two years I’ve lived in the Northwest, my life up until this point has wholly consisted of working out of my apartment (or coffee shop), being on the road a lot for ministry/work purposes, going to a small church where I was the only single guy under 35 and one of three singles my age, and working with / attending the weekly Chi Alpha meeting of ten to twelve people. Not a lot there giving me a chance to meet folks. My bad.

I am finding that just as determined as I’ve been to change my life by losing weight in a major way, that I’m equally as committed to rebuild some semblance of a social life, as mine basically does not exist right now. But instead of sitting here and complaining or getting depreseed, I’m going to find activities to do, classes to take, events to take part in, and any and everything to get me out of my little apartment and into the city, meeting people.

Part of that off the bat will be the Underdog Sport bowling league, the AIGA local mixer called D-mob, and the Young Professionals mixer. I’ve been attending a new church in Beaverton for about two months or so now, for the blantant and unapologetic purpose of meeting peer level friends. I’ll continue to give it another month or two, but if nothing really catches on with anyone, I’ll likely just pick up and look somewhere else again.

Goal 3: Fix My Finances

Though I’ll be rather brief about this goal, it’s no less important to me – it’s just that a discussion of my financial situation really has no place here. But suffice it to say that I’ll be making strides to build a monthly budget (and live by it), get myself significantly out of debt, plan my major purchases, and build my cashflow by being more proactive with my design business.

Goal 4: Give Back

Let me be straight up for a second here: I’ve been living a pretty self-centered life these past few weeks, and I’m not too happy about that. While I’m not going to be hopping back into the ministry / worship leader mode any time soon (I don’t think), I need to find a place or organization I can work with to give back. My initial thoughts go towards Big Brothers / Big Sisters, but I need to take some time to see what sort of commitment that would entale.

Truthfully, part of me hopes that doing some volunteer work will also help me out with my second goal in meeting people and making new friends. So maybe something more group oriented would be a smart move. We’ll see!

And part of me giving back doesn’t involve my time, but my finances, as well. I’ve got some ideas on that front, and more than likely that will be my Tulsa home church, Agora. I’ve got some friends doing cool ministry work that I need to sit down and sort out with my budget (see Goal 2) to see where and how I will give.

Goal 5: Do Cool Stuff

How’s that for a vague goal, eh?

I guess this feeds into my broader desire to build a better life and continue to reinvent myself. I haven’t really done a lot of stuff the past few years in Portland – just hung out with the same half-dozen people and worked. If I had to nail down my highlight of the past year, going to the Seahawks game in September would probably be what I’d go with. This year, I want to have a problem narrowing my highlight down to just one.

Most immediately for me is joining an Underdog Sports casual bowling league. They group individuals up into teams, so I’m going to take my chances with hopefully meeting some cool folks and having some fun once a week. When summer hits, I’ll join a kickball team.

Past that, I’d like to go to another Seahawks game and make it out to the opera once – it’s been three years or so since I’ve last gone.

And finally, I want to take a long weekend road trip in a rented sports car somewhere by myself (or with a lady friend if there’s one at the time). I’m thinking northern Idaho, as I hear it’s really beautiful. Perhaps somewhere around Seattle. I think I’ll avoid the wastelands of southeast Oregon this year.

Goal 6: Date Beautiful and Interesting Women

Beautiful women are a dime a dozen (as I found out bumming around downtown today before meeting a friend to watch the playoffs). Interesting women are rarer. Beautiful and interesting women? Even harder to find. A beautiful, interesting woman who’s conserned with her faith and spirituality? The Loch Ness Monster is probably easier to track down.

Hrmm. This will take a lot of energy. Probably should move this one up to Goal 2 or 3.

Now You Have It

So there are my goals – what about yours?

Good riddance, 2008.

Another year has come and gone, and I am here feeling rather philosophical (no surprise to any of my fellow bloggers, right?). 2008 has been huge. And epic. And monumental. And any other number of suitably large sounding words. The past twelve/thirteen months (I’m counting December 2007) have influenced and changed me in a number of pretty substantial ways. I can honestly say I’ve changed more in the past year than I’ve changed in the past three years since graduating from college.

I’ll take some time to look back at the past year today, and Saturday I’ll take a look at what I’m planning for 2009.

The Year of Change

If I had to boil down the entire year to a single word, I don’t have a doubt as to what it would be: change. And it’s both a good and bad thing.The weight loss and the accompanying mindset evolution has, of course, been the focus of the blog, and it’s what I’m the most proud about. However, the fat loss isn’t the only change I’ve been through this year.

Most notably is the huge change in my professional life and the fallout it’s created in my personal life and spirituality. I have spent the last three years as a Christian minister working for Chi Alpha Campus Ministries and with various churches to help people encounter God through music and the arts (in church jargon, I was a worship leader).

Chi Alpha is an awesome organization, and my bosses are wonderful, loving people. I can’t stress this enough, so please don’t misconstrue any of this. However, with Chi Alpha and other similar organizations, all staff (including the national staff) are required to raise 100% of both their personal and work budgets. I won’t go into a tangent of the why’s and how’s, but I’ll just suffice it to say that it is hard work, especially if your personality isn’t a natural salesman – like mine.

I spent the last three years in stress of trying to pay my bills, picking up some odds jobs here and there and the occasional freelance design job. But, during the last third of the year, the finances just completely bottomed out. Combined with a bit of a financial emergency, I just hit the point financially that I couldn’t continue on any further.

Fortunately, I was able to find a job doing web development with an Intel contractor here in the area. In the midst of my financial and mental meltdown, my trusted pastor Jeff Taylor at Agora Tulsa messed me up by suggesting this whole thing is orchestrated by God. I scoffed at it initially, but have come to agree. However, it’s one thing to agree with your mind and another thing all together to believe and trust something from your heart. I’m somewhere in between.

These days, I’m in the process of digging myself out of the debt I created. But, it’s been such an odd place for me these past weeks trying to sort out my faith and belief. I’m still a Christian, and remain one more than anything else because I am rock solid convinced that Jesus Christ was risen from the dead after his crucifixion and death.

But any further thoughts on my personal faith I’ll keep it between myself, trusted friends, and God. For now, I return to the change aspect I began with: for years I thought I would be in the vocational ministry until the day I died, and now I’m very happily working a “normal,” marketplace job and have very little desire to return to life as a minister or involved with nonprofit work.

Jobs may seem like something relatively minor, but as mine was tied to the most important aspect of my life – my religion – this change has been more enormous than I can adequately describe.

I Create the Change I Want

I started out the year finally determined to lose weight. Since graduating from high school around 290 pounds or so, I packed on 150 pounds of fat through poor nutrition, a very sedentary lifestyle, and enough Dr. Pepper and fast food to feed several impoverished African villages. At the beginning, I had no idea hope much weight I could lose, if I could really lose weight, and how long it would take.

I was so utterly in the dark, but I was determined to go for it. After a false start in December 2007, I really started going strong at the end of January 2008 thanks to a flash-in-the-pan weight loss bet with a friend of mine. Dropping the 35ish pounds to weigh under 400 pounds by my birthday in March has got to be one of the best feelings I’ve ever had.

I’ve proved that anyone can lose significant weight if they just get smart, get a plan, and are willing to work hard. But the bad news is that I’m still fat – just not as fat as I once was. I won’t be satisfied until I am healthy, strong, and thin. I refuse to settle on being chubby or having a pot belly and man boobs.

Struggling to Lose Weight, or Getting Comfortable and Lazy

I crossed the hundred pounds lost threshold sometime in August at 340 pounds. That took roughly eight and a half months, or roughly twelve pounds a month. Since that point, I’ve struggled through the next 20-30 pounds past 340. I gained and lost the 330-325 range four or five times, and now I’m working through the ten pound range of 320-310 for the third time.

The specific reasons of how is pretty simple: I stopped regularly weight training, and when I did, it was so sporadic that when I did go, I failed to lift with a plan. My time at the gym as a whole with cardio as well has been extremely suspect, as well.

My food intake, while manageable when I’m at the gym five or six times a week, only leads me to easily pack the pounds on again when I’m not sweating them off. So, instead of getting my fat gut into the gym regularly again, I’ll just go on strict eating and majorly restrict my calories to drop pounds quickly, when I’ll eat poorly again and restart the cycle.

But even more than the how I’ve done so poorly the past few months is the bigger question of why.

And for that, I don’t have a great – or any – answer right now.

So, there’s 2008. 120 pounds lost. Major change in my professional career. Major change in my faith perspective.

And the latest monumental change? I’ve got contacts now, after wearing glasses since third grade. I guess breaking my glasses at my sister’s wedding reception paid off surprisingly well.

Stay tuned, a look forward to 2009 is coming up Saturday.