4XLT

Today’s Weigh In: 304.0 poundsNext Goal: 299.8 pounds
Pounds to Go: 4.2 pounds
Days to Go: 7

I have an ugly confession to make today. Writing this weight loss blog, sometimes I feel the need to come off rather well – like I’m successful in my weight loss and life change efforts, that I know what the hell I’m talking about, that I’m able to do exactly what I say I’ll do.

This is not one of those times.I may have gotten back into losing weight the past couple of days, but I’ve been doing it in a completely unhealthy, unsustainable, and ultimately wrong way.

1. I Ignore Sound Nutritional Science

Everywhere you read will tell you about the importance of multiple small meals throughout the day. Have I been doing that? No.

Honestly, I’ve been going on a mini-binge and starve mode the past week (nothing crazy, so don’t read into that too much). I’ll go a bit overboard one day on my food – not by much, but enough to add weight and not maintain or lose. So the following day, I’ll severely restrict my nutritional intake to try and compensate. This is especially the case when I get home from work. I might have a few handfuls of almonds and call it good.

You can’t argue with the numbers, as I keep dropping the pounds, but it’s a horrible way to do it. And as I type this, it’s after I blew through my caloric totals at a business lunch at Red Robin and had two cupcakes at an office party (I’m pretty full of crap). So, if I wasn’t going over to some friends’ house to have dinner and play with their dog, I’d be pulling the handful of almonds trick again tonight.

My nutrition (or lack thereof) is so dagum important because…

2. I Constantly Skip Out on the Gym

I can count on my two hands (plus maybe an extra thumb) the number of times I’ve been to the gym this entire year. Forcing your body into hard work stimulates your metabolism and causes muscle growth. Both of these things are vital for effective fat loss. But I haven’t been doing that.

I’ve been taking it on easy street. Real easy street. I’m talking never hit the weights easy street.

3. I Don’t Work Hard

With two or three exceptions, I haven’t done any weight training this year. I only do cardio. Why? Simple: it’s easier. It’s quicker. It’s less of a commitment. I might feel worse off after a hard cardio session, but I’m in an out within half an hour. Add to that I don’t have to worry about protein (and thereby fixing food or buying some) right after I wrap up exercising.

If I want to go into the gym and go through my weight training program, I’ve got to pack up my bag, grab my note book, and work my ass off for an hour. Sure, an hour doesn’t sound like much, but at the end of my squats (oh wait, I haven’t done a single set of those this year), power cleans, or dumbbell tosses, I’m pretty much hating life and myself all in one sweaty package.

There’s no real excuse or explanation other than…

4. It Boils Down to me Being Lazy

Really, all of this boils down to me just being lazy. I think Dave Tate sums it up pretty well:

“The truth is that you may not have what it takes, you may not be committed enough, you may not have the discipline, you may not put in enough effort, you might not work hard enough, you do not believe in yourself, you’re full of excuses, you get distracted too easy. To wrap it up in one statement: you really don’t f***ing care enough.”

During this whole health and weight loss journey I’ve been on the past year, I’ve tried to pride myself on this new concept of actually caring about myself. Not in some overtly vain way (although I’ll freely admit to aspirations of vanity on day when I’ve earned the right to be proud about my body), but just in the sense that I’m finally starting to give a damn about myself and myself and being proactive about who I want to become and what I want my life to be.

But here I am, looking objectively at the how’s and why’s of my life, and I come to the angering realization that there is nothing in my life since I lost 100 pounds back in August that shows I really care. And that really, really pisses me off.

Screw This

Guys, I could talk about how I’ll change and all of that till I’m blue in my face. That won’t get me anywhere.

I could bottle it all up and just keep maintaining in the low 300s. I’m still a fat guy. I’m still not where I want to be.

The only way I’ll change is if I shut my mouth. I’ve got to go out and prove it in the gym and in the kitchen. I can’t just wait and say “I’ll change starting tomorrow.” That’s a weakling’s answer. I’m starting right now.

I can’t change my crappy food choices this afternoon, and I’m not going to overly starve myself tonight trying to compensate or quasi-punish myself. But, I am going to restart my basic meal plan and give myself one off day and one off evening between tomorrow and my birthday.

Beginning tonight and through this weekend, I will:

1. Go to the gym tonight and go through 15 minutes of HIIT on the elliptical and 10 minutes on the rower.
2. Go to the gym Wednesday and restart my weight training routine. I will not back out of the hard lifts for the sake of time or comfort.
3. Go to the gym Thursday and go through my cardio progression.
4. Go to the gym Saturday and go through my second set of weight training.

Help!

If you’re reading this, and I don’t do exactly what I say, please mock me. Call me names. Seriously. Gentle encouragement doesn’t cut it for me. If we’re friends in real life, please feel free to call or email or text and randomly check up and/or hassle me.

I’m tired of being the fat guy. It’s time to get back in the chase not just for a measly 300, but to set my sights on the elusive 240 this year.